A letter to into the abyss


My hope for you is that you read this without anger or judgement and an open mind.

How is it, that the business is going to do a million dollars in a single year and my personal business will do less than that yet I’m not the one currently struggling for money?

How is it that for the last two years, when I was stuck in bed with depression, or having to deal life bullshit, angry ex wives and bitter ex contractors, money wasn’t a major concern for me?

I haven’t emailed my list or even sold anything to them in months yet I’m not worried.

Hell I didn’t even take a single payment from our joint business until July.

Finally, how is it that you made $300k in PROFIT one year and the next year you needed to borrow money to keep from losing your house?

How is that all possible?

I’m not saying any of this to anger or shame you.

When I decided to invest with you, it’s because I not only wanted to help you (yes xxx, I actually do love and care about you and your family) but also I wanted to try and show you a different way of running a profitable business.

To you, getting health insurance and having the business pay for it is no big deal. Maybe you feel entitled to it, you work hard, haven’t had it in X number of years, etc.

To me, every additional cost you saddle the business with represents a larger monthly risk it must meet. You’re asking the company, that wasn’t profitable until just recently, to not only absorb your salary (plus the payroll taxes each month), but now also the health care cost.

It’s only an additional $7200 a year right now but as you know health insurance has been going up and up and up so who knows what it will be next year or the year after that.

All of this after one year of this new company, with minimal profit and growth.

So now the company has to make close to $6,000 dollars each month just to pay your salary and healthcare and that’s only to break even. If you raid the profits above that, then there isn’t enough money to cover that monthly cost in the slower months.

The bigger the monthly expenses, the more you have to work just to cover them and when shit happens (like the shirt business dying off, people suddenly quitting the box business, the seasonality of the summer – all of which you’ve experienced) you strain the business and if you put too big of a strain on it, you’ll break it and the next time you break it, it’s permanent.

That’s $18,000 in PROFIT you have to make the other 9 months just to cover your salary over the summer, let alone the cost of goods, fulfillment, etc of those normal months.

Whether you want to admit it or not, money management has been a huge issue for you and it’s the reason you needed to be bailed out in the first place.

You’re also the reason that after the bailout, the business bank account was down to $2500 (even though we agreed to keep $7500 in there) and when I showed that to you, you took an additional $1k out the next day.

To me that clearly showed either a lack of understanding of the situation or a lack of respect for my real world warning. It’s also the reason I had to prevent you from doing that again.

Yet when it came to saying no to you guys continuing to use business money to bail out your personal debts and put yourself out of business, suddenly I felt like I was dealing with children who were upset that I wouldn’t let them raid the cookie jar right before dinner.

XXX, if I had let you guys do that, you’d be out of business by now. There was no way you had the capital or personal savings to withstand those personal expenses being paid from the business account plus the slow months that followed.

Then where would you have been? What would you have done with no capital to invest in something new? What would have happened to you, your house, and your family then?

Seriously, stop and think about that. I know, I know positive affirmation and all that bullshit, but there’s a reason why I always plan for a rainy day, grow slowly, and I’m risk adverse.

Instead of seeing that, you and whoever else you’re listening to have decided that I’m the issue.

The guy who has made less profit than you have, yet doesn’t worry about money, is the issue?

The guy who has always tried to work with you, bailed you out in the first place and tried to find a solution to your issues, is suddenly is a huge asshole because he won’t let you do what you want, when you want?

Also, lets not forget, you owed me 5 figures in past due payments as well during all of this but none of that seems to matter to you, it’s only what I’ve done to you or said no to that seems to be the issue.

But instead of listening to me, you’ve just decided that you’re doing your own thing now.

We both understood the agreement. XXX profit split after the first few months of our agreement.

You were the one who changed that when you demanded a salary and then doubled it above our agreed amount.

You also changed the bookkeeper, the bank account, and whatever else you wanted because you wanted to have total control over the money and checkbook.

The same person who has repeatedly had issues with their personal finances, has admitted to not being able to keep the books up correctly, and twice had to ask others to bail them out of foreclosure wanted full control over the money vs the guy who has none of these issues?

You were the one who cooked up this whole co-ceo title and asked the business to pay an additional salary when we weren’t making any money.

Why do you need two people to run a business that has it’s fulfillment now 100% outsourced?

Because you don’t like talking to vendors on the phone?

And because of that we need to hire your family, full time, for an additional salary so they can call people vs an hourly employee who can do the same?

If we had done that when you wanted to, can you honestly say you’d still be in business?

Maybe you think – why does he get 30% of everything? He does nothing, hasn’t helped, and worse (based on your actions afterwards) won’t let me spend every penny in the account.

How dare I right?

You seem to forget that without that bailout, you’d already be out of business and there would be nothing to fight over because there would be no business.

You forget that me forcing you not to spend every last dime in the business account is the reason why you’re still in business today.

What am I suppose to do when you don’t want to do the things to help yourself out long term?

I hired a business coach, you wanted nothing to do with him.

I offered to make and market a course, but you didn’t want to talk on a regular basis to make it recurring project vs a one time thing.

I even sold you the shirt business back as a sign of goodwill, and still I’m the issue?

More for you, less profit for the business, more risk for the business.

You’d apparently rather listen to a mom who sells crystals online, or another one who had to get a 9 to 5 job because she couldn’t handle running a business or maybe you listen to your wife with zero business experience – all over me, your actual business partner and the one who had the money (and experience) to help you in the first place.

I don’t really know what the point is for this email is because I worry you’re unable change your perception of me or look at the meaning behind my message to you instead of the anger.

Maybe you just focus on the X% I get and not the X% plus salary you get? I don’t know.

But what I do know is how to run a profitable and sustainable business.

Instead of trying to take every cent out of the business, creating a huge monthly payroll expenses, and spend, spend, spend – look at the past pitfalls you’ve had and make a plan to overcome those.

Save a year of expenses (or even just start with 3 to 6 months worth), have a positive subscriber growth and a few years in the business to see what the ups and downs are (like last December) and THEN start taking the fruits of your labor.

This is your golden goose XXX, don’t kill it by asking it to lay too many eggs, too soon.

I really do want the best for you.
I really do still worry about you.
I am still here to help with my time and experience.

Where you go, your reaction to this email and what you do from here is your choice.

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